The Lengths We Go For Hope

March 2025 (First Round)
Genre: Sci-fi
Action: Gambling
Word: Grade
Time Constraint: 24 hours
Length: 100 words

No matter what technical wonders humans contrive or the lightyears we travel, we’ll always carry our vices along. One to dull senses, one to shorten lives into sharp little peaks, and one to trade creds for the dream of riches. Certainly, I never miss a poker night. With my cybernetic upgrade, I read players like a book and calculate odds in a blink, but as long as I laugh along with the spacefarers, as long as I let them win just enough, they’ll keep coming back. Even on the far side of the ’verse, money always runs out before hope.

Unfortunately, this one didn’t place. The feedback is below!

WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY

{2548} “The Lengths We Go For Hope” is an interesting take on the prompt that outlines how human persistence always prevails. I like how you related simple human habits to a futuristic existence, showing that no matter how inhuman one may become, their old human habits will die hard–very creative!

{2551} The opening idea, that humans will always have vices regardless of how much we achieve, is an interesting idea that also solves as a strong entry point to the character and what he spends his time doing and exploiting.

{1937} The first-person narration was wonderfully conceived and executed, the cybernetically-enhanced protagonist offering a guru-like perspective on what is ostensibly a 21st century redux of the Wild West.

WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK

{2548} I feel like the line “One to dull senses, one to shorten lives into sharp little peaks, and one to trade creds for the dream of riches” is not necessary if you’re not going to reference those specific vices. Going straight from “[…] we’ll always carry our vices along” to “Certainly, /I/ never miss a poker night” is much stronger. You could use the words you save by eliminating that line to maybe explain the setting more. I found myself asking, “Is this a gambling-specific planet or something they concocted as a pastime while traveling?” I’d love to know more!

{2551} Right now, this piece is more of the set up of a story than a story all on its own. (Or it may be a conclusion to a story about how the character ended up with this life.) We have a good sense of the narrator’s current life and views, but a full story needs a change, whether it’s to a person’s character, beliefs, life, relationships, or the character changing something outside of themselves. Right now, the story doesn’t have that change and as a result doesn’t have a plot.

{1937} The protagonist seems to have a good head on his shoulders; fully aware of the myriad dangers and pitfalls of the interplanetary poker scene. Might there be a moment or two in which that assuredness falls by the wayside (in turn: turbocharging the story stakes)?

Thanks for reading! You can find the rest of my NYC Midnight Challenge entries and feedback here.

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