Since this one has articles from various authors on the same topics, there’s a lot of repetition in this one. I don’t remember what “recommended writing craft books” list I found this on, but it wasn’t my favorite.
Favorite Quote: “The further you stray from reader expectation, the more obligated you are to explain how you got there.”
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October 2025 (First Round)
Scare: Tomorrow
Action: Updating
Character: A Doorman
Time Constraint: 48 hours
Length: 400 words
The emergency sirens split the scream-ridden air as we race toward the shelter. The alarms have been going off for hours now, and at this point, I doubt there’s anyone left to turn them off. Shattering glass and gunshots pepper the panicked streets as the clock ticks toward midnight, the uncanny lights hovering above the city. Sophie clings to me as I run while tugging Liam along with one hand and updating my voicemail with our destination for the friends and family I couldn’t reach.
“What about Daddy?” Liam shrieks as we dodge around a raving drunk.
“He’ll meet us there.” The lie is sour on my tongue, but I wasted so much time trying to contact my shifty ex-husband with the tomorrow ultimatum breathing down our necks. I gave him as many minutes as I could, but nightmares require sacrifices.
We turn the corner, and finally the solid concrete building of town hall comes into view with four minutes left.
A tall man in a bullet-proof vest with a rifle slung over his shoulder stands in front of the door. Chest heaving, I stagger up to him and flash the email on my phone. “We’re assigned to this shelter.”
A baseball cap obscures his eyes, and a neck gaiter is pulled up over his nose, muffling his voice. “We’re full.”
I freeze, blood roaring in my ears as Sophie whimpers into my shoulder. “But they said we’d be safe here,” I say. “Where else are we supposed to go?”
“Go home,” the doorman says.
I shove my phone in his face, only two minutes left and sweat running down my nose. “We’ll never make it.”
“Andrea.” The doorman squeezes my arms, and I finally recognize my ex, his gaze fervent. “It’s full.”
The siren falls silent and with it, the city, as if the world collectively holds its breath.
“But, Matt, they’re feeding…” Tears trickle down my cheeks, and my gaze darts to the threatening lights now blotting out the darkness. I tried to protect my babies. I swear, God, I tried.
The hungry lights pinpoint the building, and a massive, inhuman shadow drops from the sky onto the roof. I gasp, my body going rigid. They’re coming for us.
Matt folds us in his arms, hiding Liam’s face. “Don’t look.”
And when the screams start, and blood sprays the windows from the inside—I remember.
Nightmares require sacrifices.
This one came in third place in my group and advanced me to round 2. The feedback is below!
WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY
{2549} The setting is super interesting and creatively sci-fi creepy. I loved it! The story’s urgency is evident through word choices (nouns and verbs) such as emergency sirens, split, shrieks, roaring, and the world collectively holds its breath. The twist in the end, where Matt seems to allow the people IN the shelter to become the sacrifice, is quite unexpected. Nice job.
{2144} I really like the set up of the story and the way you drop us right in the middle of the action. The sounds of the chaos around the narrator and her children, them having to run to the shelter with just minutes to spare, and the blaring sirens all really provide a lot of tension and urgency to the story from the very get-go. I also really love the silence that happens the minute it actually turns to midnight. The sudden change in atmosphere really gives a quick glimpse of the scale of things to come.
{2573} That last line sent a proper shiver down my spine! This was such a complex story to fit into such a small word count and I really liked the sci-fi aspect of it. The shifty ex-husband that turns out to be protecting her was a nice touch. Updating the voicemail with a location was a brilliant way to include the prompt – really original! I liked the twist too – that the safe zone she’d been assigned to was in fact a kill shelter of sorts. The whole piece had very WWII vibes to it, with the sirens and gunfire feeling reminiscent of the blitz, and the town hall feeling like a gas chamber. Add a little War of the Worlds and you’re right there. I don’t know if that was intentional, but it brought to mind a very vivid picture for me.
WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK
{2549} A craft issue of clarity happens here: “I wasted so much time trying to contact my shifty ex-husband with the tomorrow ultimatum breathing down our necks. I gave him as many minutes as I could, but nightmares require sacrifices.” Specifically, what is the tomorrow ultimatum, why does it matter, and how come it’s not mentioned again? Does it have a connection to the story’s ending? Clarity is perhaps the most important writing element to master in flash fiction because we get so few words to get the meaning across. You can fix the issue in a couple of ways. 1. Cut the reference. (I realize that also takes out “tomorrow,” but the revision is still valid. 2. Clarify what the narrator means by “tomorrow.” Again, does it foreshadow the ending? If so, help the reader understand that better. All the best to you!
{2144} I think the set up is so great and provides instant momentum to the story, but I’m not quite sure if I follow why Matt doesn’t let the narrator and his kids into the shelter. Is the shelter actually full? Or is Matt just being a jerk? If he also had access to the shelter, why did he not tell the protagonist and her children? I just think that the series of events as Matt denies them entry need to be a little more cohesive so we can understand why the narrator and her children are left to danger. I also think in general it would be helpful to have a line or two more about the ultimatum. I don’t quite understand what the advantage is of staying home versus being in the shelters, and more information about that would help us understand the importance of these final seconds and why it all comes down to that to try to get to a new location.
{2573} It’s a small thing, but I would have liked to know a bit more about the Tomorrow Ultimatum, because I didn’t really have a sense of what was happening right up until the end. I appreciate that the word count is tight, but you could take out the sentence about the alarms having been going off for hours, which would give you a few words to build the threat round the ultimatum.
Thanks for reading! You can find the rest of my NYC Midnight Challenge entries and feedback here.
So I read Story by McKee and couldn’t really get into it, and unfortunately, I felt the same way about this one. A lot of these elements feel repetitive, and are illustrated through in-depth analysis of selected screenplays. Personally, I felt like it read like a super dry textbook without as many insightful nuggets as I would’ve hoped for. In general, the way the information is presented just didn’t really hit for me, but it could work for you!
Favorite Quote: “The more emotional people become, the shorter the words and sentences they use; the more rational people become, the longer the words and sentences they use.”
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January 2025 (Second Round)
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Action: Measuring Height
Word: Memo
Time Constraint: 48 hours
Length: 250 words
When I agreed to cat-sit for Grandma, I wasn’t expecting a life-or-death situation, but there I was, brandishing tuna beneath a tree as I tried to talk my feline nemesis down from a slow suicide.
Thankfully, thirty hours after my online cry for help, a pickup rolled into Grandma’s drive. But when Adonis himself stepped out of the truck, my brain officially broke. His biceps flexed as he swept a hand through his dark hair, long lashes framing stunning blue eyes.
Only then did I realize I hadn’t put a bra on or even looked in a mirror in the last two panic-stricken days.
Was this my punishment for secretly putting Meowchiavelli on a diet?
Adonis lifted his phone, a measuring app glowing on the screen. “Poor guy’s forty feet up.” He winked. “I’m glad you called.”
“R-right,” I stammered, memorizing the face of my desperation-induced hallucination. In minutes, he’d thrown a rope over a branch and pulled himself skyward—a true hero in action.
But just as he reached for Meowchiavelli, the cat scrambled back and fell off the branch. I screamed as the cat tumbled onto Grandma’s second-story roof, and in a streak of orange lightning, bolted to the porch and through his cat door.
Adonis returned to the ground with pink cheeks. “Uh, sorry about that. Still working on the technique.”
Finally, my brain rebooted. “Maybe we could talk about it over dinner?”
When he nodded with a sheepish grin, I decided I liked Meowchiavelli after all.
Alas, this one didn’t place, but the feedback is below!
WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY
{2415} In “A Meowchiavellian Matchmaker,” the writer does an excellent job pulling the reader into the story with the narrator’s fun, conversational voice. The love-hate dynamic between the narrator and Meowchiavelli also adds some wonderful and hilarious beats as the narrator builds up the courage to ask her Adonis cat savior to dinner.
{1943} This story really made me smile! The premise was cute, and the characters were vividly portrayed. I laughed at the way our poor protagonist realized that she hadn’t put on a bra or even looked in the mirror for two days! The contrast with the gorgeous looking Adonis was stark, creating a delightful tension as we wondered what he thought of her. The cat rescue was entertaining – I laughed as Meowchiavelli shot off the roof, to the porch, and in through his cat door. What a great moment! I loved the invitation to dinner at the end, and I really wanted to see what happened next, after his adorable meet-cute. 🙂
{2376} This is a funny and engaging story driven by a strong character. The way that you introduce us to our main character through a narrative voice that’s in turns vulnerable and acerbic not only hooks the reader in, but also immediately connects us with her. The way that she describes Adonis not only establishes her desire, it also establishes a wonderful sense of suspense. And the way that you reverse that feeling of suspense, revealing Adonis to be a fallible as embarrassed as our MC, makes for an unexpected twist that sets up a romantically satisfying ending.
WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK
{2415} This story is such a delight to read, with a fun narrator and cat hijinks leading to an adorable meet cute. If you were looking to develop this story further, there was only one moment where I wished we could have had closer access to the narrator’s perspective. You do such a fabulous job keeping us in the narrator’s emotional state–such as when she begs Meowchiavelli to come down from the tree and then sees the hot guy exiting his truck–but in this climatic moment as she watches Meowchiavelli’s descent, I felt a little emotionally distanced from the narrator. We see she screams, but after her vivid language and imagery in the story’s opening, I didn’t share the narrator’s tension and fright at this moment. I understand adding more to the story isn’t possible with the limited word count, but I honestly don’t think you need more. Perhaps reframing what you already have and positioning it more firmly through the narrator’s emotional pov (maybe heightening your word choices so they mirror the narrator’s fear more) might help raise the tension of this climactic moment before the narrator dares to ask her cat rescuer to dinner.
{1943} I felt that your story became stronger and stronger as it progressed. I did wonder about the opening paragraph. Could we open with showing her with the tuna under the tree – maybe writing this scene more directly? Then, could you show us in a more subtle way that she was cat sitting for her grandmother? For me, phrases such as “I wasn’t expecting a life-or-death situation” felt a little too much like telling instead of showing, whereas the idea of her trying to talk the cat down from the tree was entertaining and intriguing. Perhaps you could be more specific about the cry for help from Adonis. Could you show us who he was, perhaps with a detail such as a sign on the truck? Again, this felt rather like telling – could you find a way to show us instead?
{2376} There’s a lot already going right in this story, but something to consider in a potential revision would be to tweak the way that Adonis arrives on the scene. The line in the current draft about how Adonis shows up thirty hours after an online cry for help is funny, but also presents the reader with more questions than the story has time to answer–why does it take so long for Adonis to arrive? Is he a stranger from the internet or someone she knows? Perhaps shrinking the time frame or even separating Adonis from the cry for help (having it that she puts out the call only to have this friendly stranger stop as they’re driving by) would simplify his arrival in a way that keeps the reader fully engaged in the story. One other, small, thing would be to rephrase the line “desperation-induced hallucination.” This is another funny line, but it also invites the reader to wonder if our MC is imagining Adonis entirely, which doesn’t seem to be the story’s intent.
Thanks for reading! You can find the rest of my NYC Midnight Challenge entries and feedback here.
I really enjoyed this heartfelt middle-grade fantasy! Going through a difficult time in her life, Lianna is an easy protagonist to root for as she untangles her late father’s legacy, comes to terms with her grief, and adapts to her new life. Her magical, birdlike Hombit companion is definitely a source of light and fun in the story, and it was a pleasure to follow them as they untangled some of the secrets around them. Told in a very classical style with a magical flavor and solid narration, I recommend to anyone looking for an enchanting middle grade story with undercurrents of mystery (especially for fans of Troy’s Lucky Diamond series.) Thanks so much to the author for the Audible ARC, and you can grab your own copy here!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Thanks for reading!
March 2025 (First Round)
Genre: Sci-fi
Action: Gambling
Word: Grade
Time Constraint: 24 hours
Length: 100 words
No matter what technical wonders humans contrive or the lightyears we travel, we’ll always carry our vices along. One to dull senses, one to shorten lives into sharp little peaks, and one to trade creds for the dream of riches. Certainly, I never miss a poker night. With my cybernetic upgrade, I read players like a book and calculate odds in a blink, but as long as I laugh along with the spacefarers, as long as I let them win just enough, they’ll keep coming back. Even on the far side of the ’verse, money always runs out before hope.
Unfortunately, this one didn’t place. The feedback is below!
WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY
{2548} “The Lengths We Go For Hope” is an interesting take on the prompt that outlines how human persistence always prevails. I like how you related simple human habits to a futuristic existence, showing that no matter how inhuman one may become, their old human habits will die hard–very creative!
{2551} The opening idea, that humans will always have vices regardless of how much we achieve, is an interesting idea that also solves as a strong entry point to the character and what he spends his time doing and exploiting.
{1937} The first-person narration was wonderfully conceived and executed, the cybernetically-enhanced protagonist offering a guru-like perspective on what is ostensibly a 21st century redux of the Wild West.
WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK
{2548} I feel like the line “One to dull senses, one to shorten lives into sharp little peaks, and one to trade creds for the dream of riches” is not necessary if you’re not going to reference those specific vices. Going straight from “[…] we’ll always carry our vices along” to “Certainly, /I/ never miss a poker night” is much stronger. You could use the words you save by eliminating that line to maybe explain the setting more. I found myself asking, “Is this a gambling-specific planet or something they concocted as a pastime while traveling?” I’d love to know more!
{2551} Right now, this piece is more of the set up of a story than a story all on its own. (Or it may be a conclusion to a story about how the character ended up with this life.) We have a good sense of the narrator’s current life and views, but a full story needs a change, whether it’s to a person’s character, beliefs, life, relationships, or the character changing something outside of themselves. Right now, the story doesn’t have that change and as a result doesn’t have a plot.
{1937} The protagonist seems to have a good head on his shoulders; fully aware of the myriad dangers and pitfalls of the interplanetary poker scene. Might there be a moment or two in which that assuredness falls by the wayside (in turn: turbocharging the story stakes)?
Thanks for reading! You can find the rest of my NYC Midnight Challenge entries and feedback here.
A very quirky, light paranormal romance with zombies, vampires, witches, fae, and the lot. The narration was excellent, the voice was cute, and the world was interesting, but the romance felt very fast, and some of the ongoing jokes didn’t quite hit for me. Recommended for those looking for a quirky, light romance in a modern, paranormal world.
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Thanks for reading!
December 2025 (First Round)
Genre: Historical Fiction
Action: Quenching
Word: Other
Time Constraint: 48 hours
Length: 250 words
I smelled the fire before I saw it. But even with my lips chapped by drought, I paid the wind’s taint no mind. The evening chill required our hearths to warm our stews and our bones.
But the screams from the railroad were undeniable—the glow on the horizon much too late for sunset. The flames leapt from tree to tree with wicked speed, like demons racing from hell to claim us.
Peshtigo came alive with panicked shrieks. Adrenaline blotting out all else, I raced for Beth’s house. Though we had yet to speak our vows, if the reaper was to find us, I wanted to be at her side. We crashed together on main street, the flames already licking at the roofs around us—the tears on her face glowing in the inferno.
Smoke clogged our lungs and embers peppered our skin. Elizabeth’s skirt caught flame, and in desperation, I dragged her to the well. She sobbed as I lowered her down, praying she’d survive the fall. She dropped with a splash and a hiss, the icy, knee-high water quenching her smoldering dress. I clambered after her, and we clutched one another through the night. The cold nearly killing us in hateful irony.
But perhaps the greatest irony of all was that the headlines would only remember Chicago’s flames on that same October day.
I suppose because Chicago still had people to grieve her losses.
In the mass graves of Peshtigo, there weren’t enough left of us to mourn.
Unfortunately, this one didn’t place, but the feedback is below!
WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY
{2501} The description throughout this story is so vivid and creates powerful images of these devastating events, allowing for a strong emotional impact. You do a great job describing feelings of fear and the terrifying sensation of running through a burning town. Elizabeth’s skirt catching fire is a particularly effective moment of building tension before it’s revealed that the narrator saves her by getting her into the well. I also thought the comparison at the end of how Chicago’s fire is remembered more even with less deaths was a powerful ending to further showcase just how tragic this event was. Overall, some of my favorite lines throughout the story include “The flames leapt from tree to tree with wicked speed, like demons racing from hell to claim us” and “Smoke clogged our lungs and embers peppered our skin.”
{2373} There’s a truly haunting story here. The author brings the horrors of the Peshtigo fire and this narrator’s plight to life through active, sharp prose. The second paragraph alone is truly horrific and paints great images of the conflagration, namely the “screams from the railroad” and the flames leaping “like demons racing from hell to claim us.” I also like how in addition to the immediate and broader external stakes for the community, the author’s woven in the personal and emotional ones with the narrator’s desperate efforts to save Elizabeth. The description of her in the well yet again highlights the author’s powerful prose (along with the irony of the cold being an antagonist): “She dropped with a splash and a hiss, the icy-knee high water quenching her smoldering dress.” Lastly, the coda works well on several levels: It both highlights the narrator’s understandable anger, while also deftly reminding us about the more famous fire that’s consumed Chicago.
{2458} Wow—your story gripped me from beginning to end with its visceral sensory imagery, use of suspense, and final note of historical irony by contextualizing the tragedy in global awareness (or the lack thereof). I especially enjoyed how you transitioned to this larger historical context with the clever parallel use of irony; just as Beth and the narrator leap from the flames to the water, you leap seamlessly from Peshtigo to the media.
WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK
{2501} The story could be even stronger with more personal resolution for Elizabeth and the narrator’s experience. Typically, we think of wells as being relatively deep, so I wondered if they were able to get out on their own come morning or if they had to be rescued by the few other survivors. If they needed help getting out, I think there could be power in the emotions of not knowing if there was anyone left to come help them. I also wondered if they suffered any personal losses in the fire, like family members or close friends. If so much of the population perished, it would make sense if they did, and I think seeing some of that grief at that end could be effective. To make room for these details in the word count, consider removing the first few sentences to start the story with “The screams from the railroad…”
{2373} To heighten the emotional stakes, I think it might be good to get more of a sense of why the narrator loves Beth. Given that this is a time of significant duress, that will help us see what the narrator could potentially lose in this conflagration. I also think it might be good to slow down and try to describe the increasing cold a tad more, so that we can feel that dark tension; I get that the word count limits make that tough, but I do think an additional line could heighten the terror of the cold on the page. On a micro level, I’d suggest a number of trims throughout. For example, in the second paragraph, I think the author could omit “wicked speed;” that’s clear from the emphasis on the flames leaping and in that great comparison to “demons racing from hell to claim us.” In the third paragraph, I would omit “panicked;” the shrieks strongly imply the sense of panic, given the situation. In the fourth paragraph, we also don’t need to be told that the narrator drags Elizabeth to the well “in desperation;” again, we can infer that because of her skirt’s on fire. I also think the author could omit “hateful irony” when describing how the narrator and Elizabeth almost perished. We can see that irony for ourselves; the story’s far more powerful if the author doesn’t point it out, along with directly telling us how ironic it was that Chicago burned on the same day; just mentioning Chicago alone shows us that irony, especially juxtaposed against the aftermath of Peshtigo (but that coda, again, otherwise works quite well). But I wish the author well! This piece has so much potential!
{2458} The primary feedback for improvement I have about your story regards this sentence: “Though we had yet to speak our vows, if the reaper was to find us, I wanted to be at her side.” Because the vows are never mentioned again, they felt a little ambiguous and a narrative thread left somewhat uncontextualized, and thus I think you should clarify that (I think) Beth and the narrator are engaged, to prevent any excess confusion; for me personally I only realized this after multiple reads. To make room for this relationship clarification, I recommend you cut down on some of the setup description on the fire, such as the demons comparison, which isn’t absolutely necessary to conveying the utter terror of the fire.
Thanks for reading! You can find the rest of my NYC Midnight Challenge entries and feedback here.
I think I should start by saying this premise won’t be for everyone, but if you’re willing to suspend your disbelief for a premise that’s a little out there, the characters are lovable, their chemistry is great, the voice pops, their arcs were satisfying, the audiobook narration is fantastic, they have peak sunshine/grumpy energy, there’s lots of spice for those who are into that, and overall, the found-family themes were super sweet. Recommended for those looking for a spicy romcom that doesn’t take itself too seriously, and I definitely plan on trying other books by this author.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Thanks for reading!
I love Ilona Andrews books but this one wasn’t my favorite. Though I liked the tie-in to the Innkeeper series, and I also like Elias’s POV, Ada was mostly by herself as she survived/explored the cave, and her parts dragged for me. Although there will be a sequel, this one had a satisfying ending and I did really like the concept, the world, and where the story seems to be headed, so I think will pick up the sequel when it comes out. Overall, I’d recommend this to anyone looking for a scifi survival story in an interesting world.
⭐⭐⭐⭐
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Hayley Reese Chow 